Find your balance

Minimalism is a highly individualized process. When starting out it's really easy to compare oneself to someone else. That is a really, really bad idea. Trying to keep up with the minimalist Jones family is only going to lead to feeling discouraged and losing sight of your own personal goals. This is not the Kentucky Derby.

Recently I changed to only owning two forks, two knives, and two spoons. That's a level that works for me for now (and keeps me on top of the dishes). That may or may not be an idea that will even work in your life, or one that helps you obtain your goals. Please take any ideas I share, or anyone else shares, and critically examine them. Be you, because you is pretty awesome.

What is your balance? Am I crazy for getting rid of my flatware? What about dinner guests?

I want more

Minimalism is not always about less. Sometimes it's about wanting more and creating the space for that to manifest. Here's my list of five things I want more of:

1. Art, music, and creativity
2. Charity
3. Experiences (but only those that enrich or empower my existence)
4. Friendship (for me, as for many other millennials, the line between friendship and family is blurry. I love having an expansive and eclectic family)
5. Contentment

What do you want more of? How are you working to make that a reality?

How to become a minimalist

People ask me this all the time. On the surface it's easy, get rid of stuff. Realistically however, it's a bit more complicated. Here are ten tips that worked for me. What works for you will likely be different than what worked for me. Perhaps it can give you an idea of where to start.

1. Know where you are. For me, a big motivation was financial. I didn't want to hold onto a job I hated just to keep the bills paid. So the very first thing I did was come up with as accurate a picture as possible of what my financial situation was in terms of whom I owed what, etc.

2. Know where you want to be. Closely related to tip one. What are you passionate about? What is your goal? I set a short, medium, and long term goal (which I've spoken at length about elsewhere). 

3.  Make an action plan. A detailed action plan helps keep me motivated to work towards my goals. For me that included sticking with the hated job for a while.

4. Look at your possessions. The things we own. Do we own them or do they own us? I look at each possession and determine do I need it? Do I love it? Anything that meets one or both goes back in the drawer. Anything that doesn't goes in the get rid of pile.

5.  Sort your possessions. I made three piles. One for high resale value, another for yard sale (some value but not high, remainders will be donated), and trash/recycling. A very few possessions were held out to give to people for whom they hold sentimental value.

6.  Sell your stuff. I started with the pile with high resale value. I haven't had a yard sale yet, but will this summer. I'm using the money to fund my goals.

7. Look at your inner clutter. I held a lot of limiting beliefs, internalized labels, and defining experiences that didn't contribute to my well being When I removed the outer clutter, I created a space where I could unpack the internal clutter and release those things which didn't contribute to my happiness. (What, you thought minimalism was about stuff? )

8.  Look at your interpersonal relationships. Everyone has people that come into our lives, as friends or partners or family members, that journey with us for a while. Sometimes that's a lifetime, sometimes it's a shorter period. It's not socially acceptable but we need to learn to let those people go. They are on a journey of their own and need to fulfill it. You also need to fulfill your journey. Loving someone requires not wanting to hold them back. Sometimes your paths reconverge, and that is an amazing experience.

9. Don't compare yourself to other people. Other minimalists have their own levels of comfort with things, their own goals, and ultimately their own journey. This is not a race. There is no scoreboard. The Jones don't care if you are keeping up with them.

10. Remember this is a process not a destination. Rinse and repeat. I go back through steps 1-9 on a regular basis. Goals change, as do comfort levels. That's part of being human.

Again, this is what I have used in my own process. What are your steps? Please comment.

What Is Minimalism

Minimalism is very hard to define as it looks different for every individual who self identifies as a minimalist.

For some it means post modern furniture with clean, white lines. For some it means minimal debt and living very frugally. For others it means a tiny home. For yet others it means an uncluttered life (to varying degrees). 

For me, it's an amalgamation. I live in a 557 square foot home, which I hope to downsize considerably. I own very few possessions when compared to most people and hope to cut that even further (I'd like to fit everything in my midsize sedan).I have less debt than the average American, but still way too much. I love post modern furniture, but it looks unnatural in my craftsman bungalow.

Minimalism is a process. The one thing that unites all minimalists is the concept of enough. We seek enough to live our preferred lifestyle, but no more. When you own too much, your things start owning you.

How much is enough? Comment below.

Setting Goals

With any journey it's generally best to have some idea of what your destination is. Minimalism, and voluntary simplicity in general, is the same way. While minimalism can be a goal in itself, for most there are a number of other life goals they wish to also achieve. Financial, educational, volunteering, spiritual, etc.  There are no bad goals. This post will use my goals as an example but I will show you my simple, straightforward system for setting up and achieving your own personal goals. This system can work for families of all sizes from 1 person on.

Step 1: have every member of the family (including children whom are capable of such structured thinking) sit down independently and write out three goals. One to be achieved in 6-12 months, one to be achieved in 3-5 years, and one to be achieved in 5-10 years. Schedule a family meeting for exactly one week later (step 2).

My own personal goals are: 1. Pay off all credit cards (6-12 months) 2. Pay off all debt (3-5 years) 3. So reduce my expenses that I can spend the majority of my time pursuing non-monetary pursuits such as volunteering and educational concerns.

Step 2: have the family meeting. This is a goals meeting. Compile everyone's three goals into a family master list, and include the kid's goals no matter how frivolous. In 5 years your kid may no longer want a pony, but if you don't include it now they will never want to participate in a goals meeting again (the same goes for your spouse's racer yacht). The goals should be achievable. While it's ok to dream big on the five year plan, it's self destructive to do so on the 6 month plan. Note: make snacks as this meeting will take a while.

Step 3: form a concrete action plan to achieve each goal. This should be very detailed (we will hold a yard sale in June and proceeds will be sent to MasterCard for those pricey priceless experiences). There needs to be an action plan for each goal. Make assignments for each family member.

Step 4: repeat steps 1-3 no less than once per quarter. Your goals will change. That is part of the human experience. You may additionally find that your goals were easier to accomplish than initially believed. Having regular goals meetings also keeps you on track to achieving them.

This is based largely on the work of Dave Ramsey. If you haven't checked him out yet, do so immediately. He will change your life.

Please share in the comments your steps to achieve your dreams.